Your mental health is dependent on the thoughts you repeatedly think. Have you ever spent any time analyzing what you’re spending time thinking about? Or have you ever spent any time critiquing your thoughts on a particular topic to see whether or not they are healthy?
Often, the mentally unhealthy things we think occur at times when we are challenged. Thus, the situations listed below will help you find hidden mentally unhealthy thoughts and beliefs.
1. When you’re rejected by a close friend
Rejection can be devastating to anyone. But the fact is that the thoughts you think about it occurring can lead you down a path to bitterness, resentment and other bad feelings that will show up later in your relationships. What thoughts are you thinking after a rejection incident? Reframe it by looking at what the person said from their point of view. What motivated them to say it? This will give you understanding into their personality. People do things for personal reasons; it’s not often they consider the feelings of others. Once you understand this, you can make these situations an exercise in understanding people instead of condemning them.
2. When someone forgets your birthday
How do you handle this situation? Do you start thinking that you aren’t important to the person who forgot? This is selfish thinking. The chances are good that something major happened in the person’s life that preoccupied their thoughts and the event passed without a memory of it. Thinking about all the people who DID remember your birthday is the healthy thought.
3. When someone doesn’t see you when they’re in town
This one is a big one for a lot of people. Let’s face it; you aren’t the only friend of the person who forgot about you. So if you think that they don’t care enough about you to want to see you, you are getting into the realm of selfish, unhealthy thoughts. Some people then take their unhealthy thoughts to the point where they write off the friend forever. This breeds resentment and bitterness, which only leads to problems with other relationships.
4. When someone doesn’t help you when you need It
Sure, there are times when you will need help – and not get it from those who SHOULD give it to you. But that’s the unhealthy thought right there – that someone SHOULD give you something. Expecting people to act in a certain way is unhealthy. People make their own choices – and if you start expecting them to do things for you, they will feel taken advantage of and eventually leave. Then you’ll have to deal with rejection issues!
5. When someone doesn’t pay you back
The mentally healthy way to stay above bad thoughts and feelings on this one is to start out with a commitment to yourself to never lend out money to someone unless you can afford not to get it back. Realistically, people’s lives go through phases, and some of them include not having enough money. How long that period of time will last is unknown, and even though someone may think they can pay you back by xyz date, it may not happen. Don’t ever let money get in the way of friendships.
6. When you lose a family member unexpectedly
Blaming God is the biggest unhealthy thought in this category. The second biggest mental boo-boo is self-pity; you’re thinking of all the benefits you won’t have because the person is not around. One last thought that is unhealthy is blaming the person for dying.
The reality is that each of us are born, have a lifespan and die. When the death occurs may not be convenient. The mentally healthy things to think about after a person passes includes all the fun times you had, all the things you shared and all the positive things that resulted from the relationship.
Monitor your thoughts daily. Are they helping you or hurting you?